No pictures this week but a few thoughts.
It has been a rougher week, I've been in more pain, and of course just facing the reality that life keeps moving and changing no matter where you are hasn't been very fun. I've also been a little frustrated with myself because I have so much on my mind and I haven't found an outlet yet that I can actually do in this state that is satisfying to get that energy out. If there was ever a time in the past year+ that I've needed continuing guidance and comfort from a Heavenly Father it is definitely now! And it reminds me of an experience I had on Easter that I meant to share with you all but just kept running out of time/forgetting to add it to the email on p-days. So here goes....
On Easter we had the opportunity to attend some beautiful sacrament meetings that were filled with musical performances and talks all centered on Christ. One of the performances stood out to me in a such a "bigger picture" way that I will never forget it. There was a 7 year old girl at the pulpit, the choir in their usual seats behind her, and the conductor(The little girls father) was standing in between them, facing the choir with his back to the little girl. The song started with just the little girl singing and the piano playing quietly with her, the choir would come in a times, but only for small backup, the song was being all held together by this little girl. "What a burden" I thought. Would I be able to have so much pressure on me at 7? Would I be able to have so much pressure on me now? As I continued to watch I was also in awe of the beauty of this little girls voice and her simple talent, she was so calm up there just singing her part and then, I noticed "the tap." She was so calm because she felt safe. Her father was standing right behind her and when it was her turn to come in her would reach his hand behind him and give her a little tap on the shoulder. She wasn't carrying the whole weight by herself, she has obviously practiced well and knew her part, but she didn't have to know everything because her father was there to help her, she just needed to act on what she did know when he gave her that "tap."
It reminded me how in life we are never alone and are never expected to carry these burdens or these pressures of life alone, Heavenly Father is always standing there right behind us. He is the conductor who can see it all, even when we don't know how to read the music, and he will give us these gentle "taps" to help us know what to do now, where to go? Or even just to remind us he's there, and out job is to simple keep in the mindset of being open to these taps and having the faith that when we act on those taps do out best in that moment that its exactly what Heavenly Father expected out of us. We're hard on ourselves so we always look back and expect more because we want to be perfect, but he understands our weaknesses and sees all of our attempts as a beautiful success! Just like this simple sweet and beautiful 7 year old's solo.
I love you all, I pray we can grow and learn how to feel safe with our Heavenly Father just like this 7 year old did with hers.
Thank you always for your care and support!! Next week I'll have another x-ray taken and we'll know more of how things are healing.
Love, Love, Love!
PS If you'd like to hear the song here's a version that is similarly arranged.